Wednesday, February 24, 2010
bloody effing hell. so i went back on my word.. twice... talked to you rotten fool. and found my self a guy. but then the whirlwind of matters that got me caught up in it, i went back to my resolution. and i have completely. utterly. cut you out of my life. i'm acutally rather impressed with myself. and i've definitely contemplated it over and over.. and not once do i have this tinge of regret feeling like butterflies from the bottom of my heart. not once. glad you're gone.. out of my life.. you're sOOOOO not the person i thought you were. so not the person i thought you'd become. you STILL smoke. YOU STILL party. you still drink like a dying fish. what the hell. one day you'll crash and burn and everyone will see you for who you are, a faker with a plastic mask. and i dont wanna be around to see that. maybe ill wish that things were different that you didnt change. maybe ill wish that you were still around THE OLD YOU. maybe.. just maybe.. but then.. maybe not...

the one thing that has been on my mind is the wonderings of what it would be like to kiss you. odd i know. buut im a scientist i have the rite to wonder. i know i DIDNT and im actually GLAD i didnt cos that would cause a whole lot of compications in my life that i dont need. but sometimes i wonder. then again. ive nevr been one for.. touchings and feelings. creeps me out. i like the huggings and MOSt sad to say is that you still are number one on my list of best huggers.

what did you think whn you saidgood bye for thelast time? what were your eyes saying that your mouth did not speak? that is just one thing i wanna nkow. if i could go back to that moment. freeze time and take everything out of context, id ask you. if i wasnt late for my movie date. if you werent running off. if the cab meter wasnt running.

all these if's..
notice how none of them will come true


and wake up
it's reality.



time will not turn back.

it will never happen 'again' to relive the moment. never..


take things as it is and move on.




good bye fool. thanks for the memories befor you became an ffing bastard...




oh wait..






you always were one...



(good last line eh?now i had to ruin it.. hah...)