Saturday, January 20, 2007
as the freaking bloody song goes
only fols falli n love
i must be te worlds biggest fool. I KNEW he had an ex. yet it DIDNT occur to me that she would REALLYbe an EX. considering that ppl SWEETEN nad SUGAR their words to say taht, oh you know she doenst realy mean anything to me. she was just htis phase. oh PLEASE. puh LEEEEESSSS.if she was JUST another person. YOU wouldnt go around kissing any random erpson would you??@!??!?! i suppose to guys it just doesnt really MATTER to thenmm if its a freaking FIRST kiss or a 200 kiss. they dont CARE cos theyre all freaking PALYBOYS anyhow. then there is that one THING that can REALLY bother someeon. consider this. YOU say that she wasnt anything to you. you dont care and you love me more. well. lemme guess. when YOU met her . you TOLD her that she was the only one you cared about and the first one, plus the only one for as long as you live. so you know. lets get togetherand make out and GOD KNOWS wad else.and so THATS exactly wad you all didd. and now. you re NOT with her anymore. SO who the HELL is to say that THAT is not going to HAPPEN to me too? huh??!?!?!? HUH?!?! ANSWER hta for me. how the HELL does anyone know if youre being sincere or just lying your ASS off. its not a very nice feeling. then teh whole thing of uncertainness arises again and i start to doubt EVERYTING. cos im thinking. WHY did you like me? cos of how i LOOKED?! is that it? well guess wat.thats EXACTLY wad ive tried to avoid my freaking life. oh look. angmoh. easy lay. if i had a white girlfrend i can brag to all my frends of ho w i managed to hook her up. TOO BAD you freaking sucker. thats WHY i dont get into relationships. and when i FIANLLY decide to trust someone. i find out so WONDERFULLY. that you cant even accept my freaking DRESS sense. the whole conform to society. so OBVIOULSY it affects me the fact that i gave my FIRST kiss to someone who doesnt APPRECIATE it much co youve kissed osomeone else before. i KNOW its unreasonable. bu t thats ME. if you dont like it. too BAD. face it. i said i was tough. and i MEAN T it. im not easy to handle in the LEAST. im WILD. nad CRAZY. and WEIRD. adn loud and TALKATIVE. and i wear WADEVER i want. i eat WADEVER i eat and i do WADEVER i do whenEVER i can.so you cant really CHANGE me nomatter how HARD you tried. and im Not gonna change just cos one person who doesnt seem to get te significance of 'SPECIALNESS' wants me to. no matter HOW much i might love him. which reminds me. its starting to SINK IN. taht i am WISHING i was never BORN or at leastthat i NEVER fell inlove in the first place. its EMOTIONAL draining and a waste of time and moeny. when in the end all your left wiht is a BROKEN HEART. erguh.